How to Respond When Someone Makes a Mistake

It was a lazy Saturday and we decided to grill some chicken legs as part of dinner.  As the official grillmaster for our family, I dutifully warmed the sacred grates.  When our legs got charred, we took them off and brought them into the kitchen.  As the rest of the meal was just about done, Cary (always responsible with food) decided to cut into the chicken.  They weren't cooked.

On to Plan B which included finishing the chicken on the stovetop.  

My work was done or so I thought.  I retreated to the porch and did some reading which was only interrupted by a smell of smoke.  The chicken, unattended by Cary, was cooking alright but the bottom of the pan was darker than ... well, you get the point.  My wonderful wife had gotten lost in some reading herself and forgot to check the chicken.

Was it her fault or mine? Probably hers but that's not so important.  Lord knows I've burnt many a meal, and that's when I was watching things closely.  

The key is this: what should you do when you or someone on your team makes a mistake?  I suggest four steps:

1. Name it so that it doesn't happen next time. Ok, it happened so call it like it is and make sure it doesn't occur next time.
2. Don't make a huge deal about it.  Sometimes the worse you make someone feel is a reflection of an issue you have inside of yourself.
3. Realize that you've made some mistakes along the way too.  'Nuff said.
4. Have a sense of humor.  Instead of minimizing the mistake, humor can show the other person that you still care about them and can laugh at even a bad situation.

Mistakes happen and none of us are immune to them.  The key is to respond with love and professionalism so that they are minimized for the future.  

Photo courtesy of FDP

5 Things to Avoid First Thing in the Morning

The morning is a critical time of day.  You're either spent or totally focused.  You love it or loathe it.  Wherever you are in the spectrum, we can all agree that mornings are important.  

For productivity-minded folks, the morning hours are vital to getting the most out of a day.

Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening. -Gandhi

So how should you begin?  That's a loaded question for sure.  To help in the process, we might want to consider listing a few actions that are not helpful at the start of your day.  These include:

1. Shopping- shopping is necessary but try and avoid it first thing in the morning.  Shopping moves our hearts towards objects rather than towards the day ahead of us and the people we serve.  
2. Negative reading- whatever is "negative" in your book, try and avoid it.  This could include dark literature or even current events.
3. News- let's face it: the news can be depressing.  Bad stories sell papers but that doesn't mean that you have to start your day with it.
4. Email- I think that email needs to be addressed early in the day but not necessarily first thing.  Email sucks you in to work rather than keeping your mind clear and focused on getting grounded to begin your day.
5. Too much talking- journaling is very useful as a day starter but don't do all of the talking.  Make sure to allow some time to just sit and listen: to God, nature, the stirrings inside of your own heart.

What types of activities do you avoid at the start of your day?

Photo courtesy of KS 

Why You Should Wait 24 Hours Before Your Next Decision

Like you, I've had days when I wished there were 25 or 26 hours in a  day.  You just can't seem to get it all done.  Fortunately, there's always someone you know there to remind you that those extra few hours would just be filled up with something else.

True and true.

24 hours makes sense from a length of day standpoint. It also helps when you have to make a decision. Stepping away when you're hot under the collar is advice that will never go out of style.  

What's the value of pausing when you have to make a big decision?

 
1. You calm down.  If your decision is somewhat heated or you're feeling tense, it's always good to step back and calm down. Few good decisions get made out of anger.
2. Your thoughts get more clear.  Time creates wisdom and if you can wait 24 hours, your own thoughts will get more clear. Yesterday Cary and I were talking about our kids and their future.  Today we woke up with a better perspective on things and have clarity about how best to proceed. 24 hours will provide that for you.
3. You're more likely to make the right decision.  Unless you are facing an emergency and have to act quickly, the 24 hour rule will always available to you.
4. You have the opportunity to talk with wise people.  When you are facing a big decision, take the time to seek advice from someone you trust.

The next time you face a big decision, take 24 hours to let things settle and step back.  I'm guessing you'll be glad you did.

Question: when was the last time that you faced a big decision and took the time to wait before taking action?

 Photo courtesy of PS

How to Make Your Heart Big Enough to Care

When I was 22 I got a gift.  A friend, Dennis, gave me $37 for my birthday.  He had been saving for weeks and with a big smile, presented the odd amount to me in an crisp envelope.  It may not seem like much today but his gift meant a lot then.  He expected nothing in return- he just wanted to be nice.

Generosity is like that don't you think?

I met with a group of emerging leaders earlier today.  Our topic was generosity.

We discussed Seth Godin's book Linchpin: Are you Indispensable? and the need that the world has for generous leaders.  According to Godin, "Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient. The medium doesn't matter. The intent does."

We shared about how bad it feels when someone turns on you and displays the opposite of generosity. No we're not talking about being selfish or about being cheap with time.  Actually it's something far worse.

Transactional kindness.  

Transactional kindness says many things, none of which are good:

• I'll help you if you do something for me ...
• Here is my donation in return for ...
• My service will be extraordinary but only if ...
• This smile is only given to people who ...

Kindness, by its core nature isn't meant to be in exchange for anything.  It's sort of like a road that's just awesome in and of itself.  No matter if it's raining or sunny, the drive feels swell.  My friend Dennis was generous because he valued gift giving in its simplest form.

The artist gives gifts not to make money but because he has something to share.  He can't help but to share what's going on in his head and inside his heart.

I was an artist last week.  I gave a talk and expected nothing in return.  My generosity was in my preparation for the event and savoring each moment of the night.  The result- my heart got bigger and perhaps those in attendance received a gift or two.

When your heart gets bigger, it's usually because you put someone else before yourself.  Dennis did that and I'm learning to do this as well. You can make your heart bigger by practicing the most simple of things.

• Smiling like you mean it
• Looking someone in the eye
• Being inconvenienced by someone else's question
• Pausing before you speak so that you can actually hear the other person
• Trusting that the folks you will encounter today are God's most accurate gift

None of these are particulary scientific but each puts someone else first, if even for a fleeting moment.  That's pretty generous when you think about it.

Question: When was the last time that you gave a gift freely and without expecting a reward?

*photo courtesy of DB

9 Ways to Be Temporarily Happy

 Let's be honest- it's tougher to be happy in the winter than in the summer.  At least here in the Northeast, that's the case.  

• It's cold.
• The house is more dusty.
• People get cranky.
• All of the cars look like they need a bath.
• Folks look pale.

If you've read Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project or Happier at Home, you know that certain behaviors make a real difference when it comes to happiness, especially in the winter.  

These behaviors can include making your bed in the morning, maintaining a clean home or any number of actions that just about anyone can try out.  Best of all, most of these are free!

Since winter here in New Jersey seems to be hanging on longer than we would like, I decided to try out some of Gretchen's tips to see if they would work.  Bear in mind, that as a person of faith, I was skeptical to try these out.

I was raised to believe that "true happiness" is only found in relationship with God.  The "small stuff"- that was soft and mushy, like tofu.  And who do you know that gets excited about tofu?  I had to integrate my faith into daily life rather than put the two opposite one another.

This is of course, a classic ninja move for anyone who wants to be a "Daily Saint"- integrating the ordinary with the spiritual.

To do this, I've spent a few weeks tracking the little things that make me happy.  These may not work for you but, temporarily at least, they sure do have an effect in my life.  

The list includes:

• Gadgets- iPhone, iPad, etc.
• Books on tape- I've gotten hooked on Vince Flynn's spy novels as of late.
• Making my breakfast and lunch the night before
• Arriving for church early rather than late
• Drinking plenty of water
• Being home by dinner
• Cleaning my desk before I leave for home
• Taking an extra five minutes for prayer in the morning
• Reading with my kids before bed

Your list might be different and as they say, "results may vary".  The key is to try out different strategies.  They will probably give you a temporary boost as winter tries to hang on.  While it's true that our ultimate happiness lies in God, we can still enjoy the journey until we meet our final destination.

Photo courtesy of TMN