Do You Feel Guilty Taking Work Home?

If your job is anything like mine, there is always more work to be done in any given day.  I often crank through my daily To Do list but often have things left over that I would have liked to have gotten to but just didn’t.  

These are often things tangentially related to work, like working on my blog, applying to grad school, or planning out new projects.  There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get it all done.  As a result, I feel guilty at least some of the time because my focus is divided between my family and my work.  

Can you relate?

I’ll be posting the next podcast on this topic but wanted to get the conversation started here.  My questions for you:

1. Do you work at home even after you’ve left your official job at work?

2. Do you feel guilty when you do this?

3. What effects does this have on your relationship with your spouse or your kids?

You can post your comments below or join the conversation on Twitter.  

Photo courtesy of AMDG 

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Slowing Down as a Spiritual Practice

It's official- if the internet of a few years ago (remember the famous Nicholas Carr piece in The Atlantic?) made us dumb, the internet of today is making is dumb faster.  

Michael Hyatt has weighed in with some strong suggestions for countering the effects of the internet.  I appreciate his emphasis on slowing down the pace of life.

I've had some great clarity this summer.  Vacation helped with that and an easier schedule has allowed me to come home at night with some energy actually left in the tank.  I feel more alert and better able to focus on Grace, Thomas, Ella and Benjamin (who is now speaking in sentences so what's not to love about that?!)

Slowing down is also a vital spiritual practice, especially for busy folks.  The key though is to routinely slow down so that "the next slow down" doesn't feel exotic- it just feels natural.  

Sort of like turning off the tv.  If you never do it, it's hard to bear the silence.  If you do it often, you'll be a silence-appreciator.  

How are you slowing down the pace of life this summer?

Photo courtesy of MV

When to Be Brief

Think of that person in your life who gives too little detail. Imagine the teenage son after a long day at school. It often goes like this:

"How was your day?"

"Fine."

"What would you like for dinner?"

"Anything, I don't care."

And on and on. I see this exchange almost every day in my own home and at work and maybe you do as well.

On the other end of the spectrum are those people who give way too much information. You see this in meetings and in conversations. It's as if they don't seem to realize that other people need to speak too.

Whether too much detail or too little, both can be frustrating. My advice is this: pay attention to those around you as well as the context in which you find yourself. Notice the body language of other people and respond accordingly. Finally, try to model behavior that shows others that sometimes you should give a lot of detail and sometimes a briefer comment will do.

Jesus modeled this as well. There were times when he spent a long time in conversation with others (think: woman at the well). He also cut right to the chase, using short analogies to get across a point. If he can do it, so can you.

So when is a brief response appropriate?

1. When you're around a boss who wants to get right to the point.
2. When you are using email.
3. When texting.
4. When using instant message.
5. When the meeting is running out of time.
6. When the people around you need a break.
7. When you are in an emergency.

When was the last time that you thought that being brief was the best course of action?

Photo by AMDG

The Project You Can't Afford to Ignore

The latest copy of Entrepeneur magazine arrived last week with Sir Richard Branson on the cover.  A day later and Fast Company showed up, this time with Ceelo Green's pearly whites on the front.  Both Branson and Green were heralded as visionary, creative and successfully disruptive.

The problem is that I'm not Branson nor do I have the charisma of Green.  Actually I'm pretty ordinary.

This all ties in to our pursuit of Getting Things Done.  If you see yourself as an innovator and visionary, you might ignore the projects that are far less glamorous.  

But just as important.

Earlier today I finished Phase I of a porch renovation.  Having fallen victim to the elements, the outside of my three-season porch had become a role-model for chipping, cracking and overall ugly.  

Here's a shot of the porch after I had chipped and sanded the bad spots:

Not the most exciting project, admittedly.  Few will even see the improvements as the worst spots are facing the back of the property.  Still, this project was important for at least a few reasons:

1. If I didn't address the chipping paint, it would get worse and rot could set in.
2. My wife wanted it to get done.

Reason #2 was enough for me (pragmatist) but Reason #1 was just as important.  I could have ignored the work for a few more months.  I could have hired someone to do it.  Instead, I broke it down into small, bite-sized steps and conquered the monotony of chipping, sanding and priming.  

My assistant also helped with the process:

Like me, you may have a project (or two or three?) that you could put off but you know you shouldn't.  We had some paving to do at work a few months back.  Tackle it now and the price would be about 75K.  Put if off till later and the price would double.  We chose the former.

Your project might be as big as paving a parking lot or as small as fixing your porch.  It might have 35 subtasks in our ToDo manager or it might be written on a knapkin.

The key is to ask yourself, "If I put this off any longer, what will be the consequences?"  In other words: do it today.  The cost of putting it off could be greater that you currently see.  The reward could also be pretty darn sweet.

My final product:

How the Internet Changes Parenting

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2125The old threats just don't work, at least not in the age of the internet. 

Remember the days when you could tell your kids that you'd shut off the TV if they didn't behave?  Or deny computer privileges for a week? My wife and I have clearly been outsmarted by a band of four people under the age of 12. 

Worse yet, they live in our house.

As our family journeyed through Lent this past Spring, my wife and I would often lob the kinds of threats that used to work.  Note the past tense.  We began with, "One more time and you'll lose computer use for the rest of the week..."  When it didn't seem to phase our oldest daughter, we wondered why.

Was my tone of voice off?  Had my wife tipped her hand too soon in the argument? Were we losing our parenting mojo? (ok, I would never actually think that much less use the word mojo outloud)

And then it struck us- we have enough iOS devices to run a small branch of Radio Shack.  The 11 year old just headed over to the iPad and started gaming there.  Plunked down on our Craigslist couch, she had worked the system to a "t".  The 8 year old grabbed my iPhone and voila- MineSweep magically appeared. He too had figured out that the internet no longer limits a person to just one device.

This is what the internet does to parents everywhere.  Since the old geographical threats no longer apply, we have to be more crafty than ever before.

Parents unite!