6 Reasons You Should Step Away from Technology

My wife said to me about three months ago that she thought I was getting sucked in to what she called "too much technology".  Naturally, I shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes.  After all, I'm the techie husband that gets asked questions about computers when folks come over for dinner.

A few days later, a parent at school asked how I did it all, being a dad to four little kids and running a school during the day.  I smiled and gave a nice answer as if to convey that everything was in check.  Unfortunately it wasn't.

Cary was right- I was getting too heavy a dose of tech each week and it was getting the better of me.

I wasn't enjoying Twitter on most days. LinkedIn was feeling sterile.  My Tumblr blog at work was being ignored.  All of that led me to realize that I needed to step away for a while.  Last week I finally declared a technology fast and it did me wonders of good.  I don't think I'm still fully recharged but thought it was the right time to jump back in.  

My posts?  They'll be shorter, simpler and more to the point.  

Why step away temporarily from tech?  Here are six reasons why it will make sense for you:

1. You'll have more time for those you love.
2. You'll find joy in silence.
3. Simple things will matter more.
4. You'll physically feel better because you'll have more time to work out.  
5. You'll get more sleep at night and sleep better.
6. When you return to tech, you'll have new insights to share with others.

How is technology getting the best of you these days?

Photo courtesy of CLS

Give Yourself Permission to Slow Down

Parents today are under a lot of pressure.  They spend hundreds of dollars a month on gas, shuttling their kids from one activity to the next.  In the back of their mind, they fear that if they do not engage in a frenetic schedule, their son or daughter will not be formed "properly".  They fear that Johnny won't get into college and then won't have friends and then will be living at home forever.  To counter this, they shuttle him to:

Soccer

Band

Archery

Summer camp

More soccer

Forensics

Cub Scouts

Fencing

Chess club

And on and on.  It's as if it's a crime to have a Saturday when your kid just hangs out around the house and reads a book.  (That would be ok if the reading was part of a Young Mensa Literature Discovery group.)

I used to struggle with this.  I used to worry that my kids would somehow be at a disadvantage if they weren't involved in a million activities.

Until I stepped back, looked at them and marvelled at their unique personalities and God-given specialness.  It was then that my wife and I decided to stop the madness and take it slower than most families would.  Our weekends are no longer a taxi campaign to get the gas tank to zero.  Instead, we enjoy doing as little as possible together as a family.

A general rule is this: one activity at a time.  In other words, if Grace wants to do softball, she can't do softball and forensics at the same time.  You can do this while kids are young.  As they get older, multitasking activities will probably be the norm.

Don't get me wrong, we still do things.  Take this past weekend as an example.  My son, Thomas, wanted to learn how to play tennis.  We got up early, for Saturday standards, and enjoyed an hour together hitting the ball against the equivalent to The Green Monster here in Berkeley Heights.  Sunday, same thing.  Without a doubt, these two hours were the most important thing I did all weekend.  He had a blast and is now interested in a new sport.  

Was it hectic?  Not really. Important to my son? Totally.

It's ok to slow things down with your kids and your family.  You don't have to maintian a crazy schedule.  It's ok.  Your kids will be perfectly normal if they learn to hang out at home, read a book, play in the yard and love their siblings.  You don't have to attend every holiday party or end of year event.  

Sometimes you just have to give yourself permission to do this.  

What's holding you back from a more manageable schedule with your family?

Photo courtesy of PL

What a Smartphone Taught me About Faith

Sometimes you own things and sometimes they own you.

I was at a mini retreat on Sunday and a friend, Chip, was constantly checking his iPhone.  I figured that his lovely wife, Aida, would have kicked him under the table but she apparently has gotten used to his 24/7 online status. Either that or he's setting up a new gadget to his liking.

Having recently switched from an iPhone to an Android smartphone, I've been deep in that same mode.  Tweaking, checking and getting the new phone do what I want it to do... I've gotten a kick or two from my wife along the way.

I switched away from an iPhone after having jailbroken my previous iPhone 5 (translation: "jailbreak" = a geeky move you can do on your iPhone to allow for cool features).  Wanting more flexibility and personalization, Android was the perfect option. Everything I loved about a jailbroken iPhone, I can now do on my Google Nexus 4 and more.  It took me a while to give myself permission to switch.  After all, aren't all of the cool kids using iPhones?

Then I read about another iPhone guru who switched to Android.   If he could do it, I could too.

Faith is sort of like this as well.  It's got to be your own.  If you were to take an All Star Saints photo of this century, it would probably include Mother Theresa, Padre Pio and Maximilian Kolbe.  We have tons to learn from them and we ought to familiarize ourselves with their lifestyle and Gospel message.  All three were amazing.

But at the end of the day, your faith is yours and not Mother Theresa's.  After all, you can do things that she could not.  God has special plans for you that He did not apply to Maximilian Kolbe, amazing as that may sound.  

So when it all comes down to it, whether you are an iPhone or an Android user, make it your own.  Just like your faith and walk with God.  Get into it.  Enjoy the ride because no other person has the exact same experience.

Challenge: Pray today for the grace of knowing how exactly your relationship with God is different from that of others.

Photo courtesy of FDP

Five Ways to Prepare for Easter

Lent is officially over, the grocery store is full of candy (and the fake grass stuff that ends up all over your living room floor) and Easter is almost here. How do you prepare for it?

You could do nothing and just enjoy the day- that's certainly an option.

You could overprepare to the point of being stressed by the existence of Easter- that's another option.

Or, maybe you could thoughtfully point yourself in a direction that allows for maximum reflection on what Christians believe is the most important and solemn holiday of the year. I'm sure you aren't surprised that I'm going to recommend this final mode of prep so here goes:

1. Review your local church's services. Most churches offer some kind of "triduum" services- Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Triduum is Latin for "three days" and implies a set of services that flow from one to the other. I'm Catholic so our triduum features the following:

Holy Thursday: Mass that includes a washing of the feet of 12 parishioners. I always look forward to seeing whose feet will be washed each year. The altar is then stripped, symbolizing that Good Friday is right around the corner. Our family then visits several local churches to pray, a tradition that inner city Catholics have carried on for centuries. I guess it started in inner cities because most have a ton of churches to visit by walking.

Good Friday: Either the stations of the cross or a church service whereby a cross is venerated. Churches do this in their own way- some provide one huge cross for people to kiss or kneel in front of while others coordinate people into lines so that many different crosses can be venerated. This service is very solemn.

Easter Vigil (Saturday Night) / Easter Sunday: I love the Easter vigil services. In the Catholic tradition they take several hours and are rich in symbolism. You get it all- candles, fire, water, oil, song, etc. New Christians are baptized and welcomed into the church, something my wife Cary did some 17 years ago. It's pretty awesome and the church is redecorated to symbolize Easter joy.

2. Get away. Believe it or not, sometimes it's better to be anonymous for a big religious holiday. My friend J.B. Wood likes to visit a new church so that it's like a pilgrimage or sorts. Being in a new worship space can give you a fresh set of eyes.

3. Rest. You may be going into Easter with a sense of exhaustion so be sure to take naps, enjoy quiet mornings and take it easy.

4. Give yourself permission to eat simply. My friend Fran is planning on having a bean casserole with frozen vegetables and potatoes from a box. It's easy and I'm sure will taste delicious. Don't feel like you have to go crazy in order to enjoy Easter- find what works for you.

5. Engage with the Scripture story of the Resurrection. When was the last time you sat quietly and read one of the Gospel accounts of the Resurrection? Read it slowly, maybe two times if necessary.

These are five things that work for me.

How will you prepare for Easter?

Photo courtesy of FT

Three Ways to Improve Your Personal Style

You know him, the guy in the supermarket whose wardrobe is vintage 1985. Then there's the gal in the library who has the same hairdo as when she was 30 years younger. He and she are pretty common these days and the older you get, the easier it is to be stuck in a rut.

Rutness plagues a lot of us if we're honest about it. Life moves quickly, demands pile up and "small" things like your personal style get lost in the sauce. You may even hear people defend their blandness with something like, "I'm so focused on my career," or "My kids are way more important than a silly wardrobe!"

True and true.

Still, blandness isn't helpful when it comes to career promotion. Remember the 20/20 episode when they compared two kinds of people as they entered a store? The ones with style consistently got better service.  Some are wondering if 2013 will finally be the year of great customer service.  I'm not sure but I know that blandness can be countered with three practical action stesps:

1. Get perspective.  If you're not sure if you have become bland, ask someone you trust.  A real friend will be honest with you.
2. People watch.  Go to a movie. Grab a bite to eat.  Head downtown and just watch how people dress.  If you see something you like, replicate it.  You have permission to upgrade your broken eyeglasses.  Your haircut can be changed. Your teeth can be whitened.  
3. Give yourself permission to live younger.  Who cares if you dress like someone ten years younger?  Whose business is it if you do activities that supposedly "younger" people do?  Give yourself the green light to do things that are meaningful to you.

Blandness doesn't have to get the best of you as you get older.  I recently got a new pair of glasses.  When the lady asked me what kind I was looking for, I simply told her that I didn't want to look like an old man.  The result is a slightly modern frame that actually looks nice.  Had I not told the lady what I was looking for, I would have gotten the exact same pair as I did two years ago- i.e. bland.

What are you waiting for?  Push back on bland and go for your own style.  After all, Psalm 139 says the following:

"For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."  (Psalm 139: 13, 14)

What can you do to improve your personal style and push back on blandness?

Photo courtesy of MA