5 Things to Avoid First Thing in the Morning

The morning is a critical time of day.  You're either spent or totally focused.  You love it or loathe it.  Wherever you are in the spectrum, we can all agree that mornings are important.  

For productivity-minded folks, the morning hours are vital to getting the most out of a day.

Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening. -Gandhi

So how should you begin?  That's a loaded question for sure.  To help in the process, we might want to consider listing a few actions that are not helpful at the start of your day.  These include:

1. Shopping- shopping is necessary but try and avoid it first thing in the morning.  Shopping moves our hearts towards objects rather than towards the day ahead of us and the people we serve.  
2. Negative reading- whatever is "negative" in your book, try and avoid it.  This could include dark literature or even current events.
3. News- let's face it: the news can be depressing.  Bad stories sell papers but that doesn't mean that you have to start your day with it.
4. Email- I think that email needs to be addressed early in the day but not necessarily first thing.  Email sucks you in to work rather than keeping your mind clear and focused on getting grounded to begin your day.
5. Too much talking- journaling is very useful as a day starter but don't do all of the talking.  Make sure to allow some time to just sit and listen: to God, nature, the stirrings inside of your own heart.

What types of activities do you avoid at the start of your day?

Photo courtesy of KS 

How to Make Your Heart Big Enough to Care

When I was 22 I got a gift.  A friend, Dennis, gave me $37 for my birthday.  He had been saving for weeks and with a big smile, presented the odd amount to me in an crisp envelope.  It may not seem like much today but his gift meant a lot then.  He expected nothing in return- he just wanted to be nice.

Generosity is like that don't you think?

I met with a group of emerging leaders earlier today.  Our topic was generosity.

We discussed Seth Godin's book Linchpin: Are you Indispensable? and the need that the world has for generous leaders.  According to Godin, "Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient. The medium doesn't matter. The intent does."

We shared about how bad it feels when someone turns on you and displays the opposite of generosity. No we're not talking about being selfish or about being cheap with time.  Actually it's something far worse.

Transactional kindness.  

Transactional kindness says many things, none of which are good:

• I'll help you if you do something for me ...
• Here is my donation in return for ...
• My service will be extraordinary but only if ...
• This smile is only given to people who ...

Kindness, by its core nature isn't meant to be in exchange for anything.  It's sort of like a road that's just awesome in and of itself.  No matter if it's raining or sunny, the drive feels swell.  My friend Dennis was generous because he valued gift giving in its simplest form.

The artist gives gifts not to make money but because he has something to share.  He can't help but to share what's going on in his head and inside his heart.

I was an artist last week.  I gave a talk and expected nothing in return.  My generosity was in my preparation for the event and savoring each moment of the night.  The result- my heart got bigger and perhaps those in attendance received a gift or two.

When your heart gets bigger, it's usually because you put someone else before yourself.  Dennis did that and I'm learning to do this as well. You can make your heart bigger by practicing the most simple of things.

• Smiling like you mean it
• Looking someone in the eye
• Being inconvenienced by someone else's question
• Pausing before you speak so that you can actually hear the other person
• Trusting that the folks you will encounter today are God's most accurate gift

None of these are particulary scientific but each puts someone else first, if even for a fleeting moment.  That's pretty generous when you think about it.

Question: When was the last time that you gave a gift freely and without expecting a reward?

*photo courtesy of DB

9 Ways to Be Temporarily Happy

 Let's be honest- it's tougher to be happy in the winter than in the summer.  At least here in the Northeast, that's the case.  

• It's cold.
• The house is more dusty.
• People get cranky.
• All of the cars look like they need a bath.
• Folks look pale.

If you've read Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project or Happier at Home, you know that certain behaviors make a real difference when it comes to happiness, especially in the winter.  

These behaviors can include making your bed in the morning, maintaining a clean home or any number of actions that just about anyone can try out.  Best of all, most of these are free!

Since winter here in New Jersey seems to be hanging on longer than we would like, I decided to try out some of Gretchen's tips to see if they would work.  Bear in mind, that as a person of faith, I was skeptical to try these out.

I was raised to believe that "true happiness" is only found in relationship with God.  The "small stuff"- that was soft and mushy, like tofu.  And who do you know that gets excited about tofu?  I had to integrate my faith into daily life rather than put the two opposite one another.

This is of course, a classic ninja move for anyone who wants to be a "Daily Saint"- integrating the ordinary with the spiritual.

To do this, I've spent a few weeks tracking the little things that make me happy.  These may not work for you but, temporarily at least, they sure do have an effect in my life.  

The list includes:

• Gadgets- iPhone, iPad, etc.
• Books on tape- I've gotten hooked on Vince Flynn's spy novels as of late.
• Making my breakfast and lunch the night before
• Arriving for church early rather than late
• Drinking plenty of water
• Being home by dinner
• Cleaning my desk before I leave for home
• Taking an extra five minutes for prayer in the morning
• Reading with my kids before bed

Your list might be different and as they say, "results may vary".  The key is to try out different strategies.  They will probably give you a temporary boost as winter tries to hang on.  While it's true that our ultimate happiness lies in God, we can still enjoy the journey until we meet our final destination.

Photo courtesy of TMN

Why You Worry (and What You Can Do About It)

Are you a person who worries a lot?  

Maybe it’s the result of waiting on medical results.  Or, it could be the effect of having a child that is going through one of those phases.  Your job could cause you to worry or you may have anxiety from feeling like you’re in over your head.  

I can relate, trust me.  Just ask my wife or my team at work- they could list for you my insecurities or reasons for worry.  

Worry can get the best of you if you aren’t careful. It will put extra wrinkles on your forehead and produce fewer hours of sleep at night.  Have you ever known someone who looked much older than they really were?  Those are the people who we say something like, “He’s had a hard life- that’s why he looks so old!”  In short, worry will produce a result in your mind and body if you let it.

The most dangerous thing though about worry is what it can do to your spiritual life.  First, worry can be a sign of not fully accepting God’s unconditional love for you.  Some of us are too hard on ourselves because we don’t fully, completely, passionately accept that God is head over heals for us.  Think on that for a bit… it will rock your world.

Worry can also be a sign that we don’t fully trust God’s providence in our life.  Think about it in another way.  If I told my son Thomas that he can trust me to get him to school on time and then he spends the entire day before school worrying about whether or not we’ll arrive on time.  Talk about wasted energy on his part but worse yet, it would signal a lack of confidence in me as his dad.  (And I’m a pretty solid driver I might add.)

To avoid worry, we should lock in to the two fold practice of a) Accept God’s love and b) Trust that He knows what He’s doing.  A few passages from Scripture come to mind:

“So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.”  Matt. 6:33-34 (NLT)

And another that is helpful when we think of worrying,

“Give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life.” Rom. 6:13b (NLT)

Worry doesn’t ever fully go away but you can lessen its effects through the following suggestions:

1. The moment you are tempted to worry, take your concern immediately to prayer.  It doesn't matter if you're at work or driving to an appointment- pray!
2. Talk about what you feel like worrying about with someone you trust.  This could be a spiritual director of a trusted friend.
3. Build a team around yourself that you can have total confidence in.  I often brag about my team at work because I trust them completely- that makes me worry less often.
4. Revisit Scripture often so that you are countering worry’s effects with the reassuring and continual Presence of God.  The Bible's wisdom doesn't go out of style.

I worry a lot.  I’m admittedly trying to get better and trust God more but worry is something that is always just around the corner.  Maybe you can relate.  If you are responsible for anyone besides yourself (a spouse, a child, an organization, a church, a town), it’s even more important that you learn to counter the temptation of worry.  

Fortunately, worry doesn’t have to get the best of you.  With some practice you’ll worry less and draw even closer to God. 

What are the things that you most often worry about?  What techniques do you practice when worry creaps in?

Photo courtesy of FS

Lessons in Faith from a Juggler

Have you ever felt stuck? I don't mean on the side of the road in your sedan. I'm talking about in your faith- in a rut, not feeling God's presence and not enjoying things at all.

All of us go through it. St. Teresa of Avila was known to have experienced what is often called "spiritual dryness" for nearly 17 years! St. John of the Cross famously called this the "dark night of the soul". Everything seems black and you feel alone.

I've been there and it doesn't feel good.

Not to trivialize the dark night (because it's not fun, let's be honest) but there are two things about it worth noting:

1. It's good if you realize that you're feeling sideways in your faith. That means you can still feel. You're not numb to things and God is still nudging you forward. Acknowledge it, write about it, talk to God about how it feels and ask what it might mean. Stick with your morning devotions and pray for the grace to stay on this side of the conflict.

2. Have a sense of humor about it. This isn't like laughing at a car crash on your way to work out of nervous energy. This is about acknowledging that you're human and sometimes life gets the best of you. It's almost like going on a diet and then falling off the tracks at the hands of a delicious pack of Mrs. Fields white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. The crumbs are in your lap and you realize you've just devoured six of the little devils in the span of two minutes. Just smile, wipe off your mouth and move on.

If you anticipate imperfection, the fall will be far less painful. Getting back up will become part of your routine.

My friend Gene is a juggler who talks about the importance of having a "drop line". In other words, when he drops a bowling pin, he already has a funny line ready to say. The audience thinks it's funny and he just moves on with the show, calmly picking up the pin as if it's part of his act.

Imperfection is part of the thing. This applies to life, juggling and living as a disciple of Christ.

Question: When was the last time that you had to push through a spiritually dry patch?