7 Ways to Explain July 4 to Children

Today is a great day for Americans.  Parades, barbecues and flags all around.  My family will go to the Chatham parade and then have some friends over to stand around the mothership (otherwise known as my grille) for some food and fellowship.

If we're not careful, my wife and I will raise four kids who have no idea about the real meaning of July 4.  They'll simply associate it with the trimmings of the day.

Here are some simple things you can do to teach your kids by means of a holiday like July 4:

• Talk about it.  Ask your kids what they know about it.
• Watch a t.v. show or movie about American history.  This is perfect for after dinner when things are winding down.
• Go to a parade and clap for the soldiers.  These brave men and women deserve more than others- clap for them and point them out to your kids.  
• Explain the symbolism of the American flag.  Here is a great resource.
• Ask one of your kids to put on a powerpoint presentation about the holiday.  I'm not even kidding with this one. My 9 year old has done powerpoints of Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas.  It's my way of teaching him powerpoint and linking tech with a national holiday.
• Watch fireworks.  Come on, everyone likes fireworks!
• Discuss a passage from the Bible about freedom.  Romans 6:22 is a good start, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life."

How are you not only celebrating July 4 but teaching your kids about its meaning?

How to Respond When Someone Makes a Mistake

It was a lazy Saturday and we decided to grill some chicken legs as part of dinner.  As the official grillmaster for our family, I dutifully warmed the sacred grates.  When our legs got charred, we took them off and brought them into the kitchen.  As the rest of the meal was just about done, Cary (always responsible with food) decided to cut into the chicken.  They weren't cooked.

On to Plan B which included finishing the chicken on the stovetop.  

My work was done or so I thought.  I retreated to the porch and did some reading which was only interrupted by a smell of smoke.  The chicken, unattended by Cary, was cooking alright but the bottom of the pan was darker than ... well, you get the point.  My wonderful wife had gotten lost in some reading herself and forgot to check the chicken.

Was it her fault or mine? Probably hers but that's not so important.  Lord knows I've burnt many a meal, and that's when I was watching things closely.  

The key is this: what should you do when you or someone on your team makes a mistake?  I suggest four steps:

1. Name it so that it doesn't happen next time. Ok, it happened so call it like it is and make sure it doesn't occur next time.
2. Don't make a huge deal about it.  Sometimes the worse you make someone feel is a reflection of an issue you have inside of yourself.
3. Realize that you've made some mistakes along the way too.  'Nuff said.
4. Have a sense of humor.  Instead of minimizing the mistake, humor can show the other person that you still care about them and can laugh at even a bad situation.

Mistakes happen and none of us are immune to them.  The key is to respond with love and professionalism so that they are minimized for the future.  

Photo courtesy of FDP

How to Give Someone Feedback in Five Minutes or Less

Too many organizations are lousy at giving feedback.  They wait until the end of the year to sit you down and give you a form which allocates a score to how the entire year went.  

Imagine if we applied this same concept to marriage or parenting or friendship?  I can just picture my wife saying one night over dinner, "Honey, here's your review for the month of May.  I've scored you a 7 out of 10 because you were late for dinner three times.  You can do better!"  

Not exactly a motivational speech.  Chris Farley would not approve.

The ultimate point of feedback is to improve future behavior.  You can't change the past so give that up immediately.  Feedback is future oriented.

The guys at Manager Tools are the best when it comes to training folks to give feedback.  The best part is that you can give people feedback in less than five minutes.  Here are some key points before we add on the practical tips for delivering feedback:

1. People crave feedback.
2. Feedback is a normal part of work and life.
3. Feedback is traditionally seen as negative.  It can just as easily be positive.
4. Both positive and negative feedback are important.
5. Feedback is great for the employee but even better for the supervisor.
6. Feedback is meant to be given over time rather than in one fell swoop.
7. Continual feedback can transform an organization.
8. Feedback is best given close to when the behavior occurred.
9. Feedback is best given face to face.

Now let's look at two forms of feedback.  First to positive feedback and how you can deliver it:

Supervisor: Hey Chip can I give you some feedback?

Chip: Sure.

Supervisor: When you started yesterday's meeting on time, it told the group that we were about to do something important. Thanks for that.

Chip: No problem, it turned out to be a good meeting.

This is doable right?  The best part is that it only takes a second.  You can also do this while walking down the hallway or in between conversations.

Now on to negative feedback which is just as important.

Supervisor: Hey Chip can I give you some feedback?

Chip: Sure.

Supervisor: When yesterday's meeting went an hour overtime, it really slowed everyone's productivity.  I know that Shelley had to reschedule an appointment as a result.  Can you do that differently next time?

Chip: I can do that.  Sorry I guess time got away from me.

In both positive and negative feedback, the interchange is brief and honest.  Both the supervisor and the team member accomplish what they need to get done.  Most importantly, future behavior is more likely to change for the better.  

When was the last time that you received helpful feedback? 

Photo courtesy of JE.

Why Your Next Meeting Doesn't Have to Stink (plus a bonus offer)

When was the last time you attended a really great meeting? If you're like me, you had to think hard about that. Now shift gears and think of the last time you had to attend a lousy meeting. I bet that the inventory of those kinds of meetings is much bigger.  Ouch!

Dittos here. Bad meetings are way more common than we'd like to admit.

A recent Wall Street Journal study of executives revealed that most of their days were tied up in meetings.  18 hours a week, on average, were spent in meetings.  That's a lot of time and the video below shows a discussion of the rest of the study.

The issue of meetings isn't limited to CEO's.  The other night my town had a meeting to discuss trees. They were going to be describing how to dig a hole, insert a new tree and then keep it alive. I skipped out on the meeting because I figured that I could just as easily look it up online and figure it out on my own. One quick search in Google for "planting new trees" and my bet is that the rest will follow.

There are probably three options for meetings that apply to regular folks like you and me:

1. You could skip meetings altogether. Seth Godin says that he does this and that's one way to free up time.
2. You could tolerate bad meetings just as you do now. Not my favorite solution so keep reading.
3. You could transform meetings into productive experiences. Now we're talking!

For option #3, you need some level of control on your schedule. If you're an attendee, there's only so much you can do to make a meeting more tolerable. For example, if the meeting moderator is disorganized and in a habit of starting late, you could be in trouble.

If you do have the opportunity to run the meeting, this is where the magic happens. You can control almost every aspect of the meeting and the end result will be a happier audience. Good meetings typically involve the following elements:

1. A published agenda.
2. A respect for time (starting and ending time).
3. A pace that keeps things moving.
4. A tone that makes everyone feel respected.
5. An ability to listen to everyone present.
6. A bias towards actionable results.

If you've experienced any of the above six elements of a meeting, chances are it was time well spent. I've created a new eBook titled "How to Run Effective Meetings: the Six Practices that will Turn Any Meeting Into a Success" and it's available for a limited time for only $1.99.

You can pick up a copy here.  In How to Run Effective Meetings, I outline the prerequisites for productive meetings and then I share the six practices that I use every week to make meetings not only tolerable but on some occasions,  terrific.  

Your next meeting doesn't have to stink.  It might even be delightful if you practice long enough.  

Question: What made a recent meeting productive for you?

Photo courtesy of MA

Why You Should Wait 24 Hours Before Your Next Decision

Like you, I've had days when I wished there were 25 or 26 hours in a  day.  You just can't seem to get it all done.  Fortunately, there's always someone you know there to remind you that those extra few hours would just be filled up with something else.

True and true.

24 hours makes sense from a length of day standpoint. It also helps when you have to make a decision. Stepping away when you're hot under the collar is advice that will never go out of style.  

What's the value of pausing when you have to make a big decision?

 
1. You calm down.  If your decision is somewhat heated or you're feeling tense, it's always good to step back and calm down. Few good decisions get made out of anger.
2. Your thoughts get more clear.  Time creates wisdom and if you can wait 24 hours, your own thoughts will get more clear. Yesterday Cary and I were talking about our kids and their future.  Today we woke up with a better perspective on things and have clarity about how best to proceed. 24 hours will provide that for you.
3. You're more likely to make the right decision.  Unless you are facing an emergency and have to act quickly, the 24 hour rule will always available to you.
4. You have the opportunity to talk with wise people.  When you are facing a big decision, take the time to seek advice from someone you trust.

The next time you face a big decision, take 24 hours to let things settle and step back.  I'm guessing you'll be glad you did.

Question: when was the last time that you faced a big decision and took the time to wait before taking action?

 Photo courtesy of PS