When to Be Brief

Think of that person in your life who gives too little detail. Imagine the teenage son after a long day at school. It often goes like this:

"How was your day?"

"Fine."

"What would you like for dinner?"

"Anything, I don't care."

And on and on. I see this exchange almost every day in my own home and at work and maybe you do as well.

On the other end of the spectrum are those people who give way too much information. You see this in meetings and in conversations. It's as if they don't seem to realize that other people need to speak too.

Whether too much detail or too little, both can be frustrating. My advice is this: pay attention to those around you as well as the context in which you find yourself. Notice the body language of other people and respond accordingly. Finally, try to model behavior that shows others that sometimes you should give a lot of detail and sometimes a briefer comment will do.

Jesus modeled this as well. There were times when he spent a long time in conversation with others (think: woman at the well). He also cut right to the chase, using short analogies to get across a point. If he can do it, so can you.

So when is a brief response appropriate?

1. When you're around a boss who wants to get right to the point.
2. When you are using email.
3. When texting.
4. When using instant message.
5. When the meeting is running out of time.
6. When the people around you need a break.
7. When you are in an emergency.

When was the last time that you thought that being brief was the best course of action?

Photo by AMDG

Parking Lots and Productivity

When was the last time that you had a bad parking lot encounter?  I typically average one a year.  

A fender bender, a honking horn, a rude driver- all come with the territory when it comes to parking lots.  I had a unique experience this past weekend in the local Shop Rite here in town.  

We had dropped off my wife so that she could get some items for Sunday night dinner.  As we usually do, we began to do loops, looking for an available parking space.  

An answer to prayer then presents itself- not only an open spot but the very first spot in the best row in the entire lot.  Can it get any better than this?  

I position my vehicle, ok so it's a minivan I admit it, and prepare to back into the spot.  Then, out of nowhere, a horn starts honking as if to wave me off of my incredible find.  An older woman in an older car had apparently seen my spot from 30 yards away.  

My spot.

I have to make a quick decision.  To keep the space or pass it along to her.  Keep it.  Pass it along.  Keep.  Pass.

Who would have thought that a parking space would produce such anxiety?  My decision became clear- surrender the space.  After all, I had to show my kids, all of whom were cheering me on to practically brawl with the woman, that generosity can appear in the most unlikely of places.  

The moment came and went and Mrs. That's-My-Space got her wish.  

I then explained to my audience that there are rules to parking lots.  You know them right?  Don't park over the yellow lines.  Don't ding someone else's door.  Person closest to the space claims it.  

The woman clearly didn't know the rules of parking lot etiquette or worse, ignored them altogether.  

Let's switch to work- who is ignoring a rule that you think is sacred?  Who allowed the pot-pie to explode in the microwave oven?  Who jammed the copier and then left for "more important work"?  

Every day, all over the world, people are ignoring things that you think are important.  You may even take them for granted.  My advice is simple: the next time you are totally frustrated by someone else, consider the unspoken rule that you hold dear.  

Name it and find out why it's important to you.

Photo courtesy of AMDG.

Listen to Your Work

What is your work telling you?

This question and others like it came up last week at a leadership lunch we hosted at work for select student leaders. Our guest was thought partner and uber-blogger Bradley Moore of Shrinking the Camel.

As students asked Bradley about his path to career success, the theme of listening came up again and again. "I just felt drawn to the world of business," he said.

Detailing how God is often in the most mundane of details, his career path has looked like a winding road with no obvious trajectory.  Yet, over time, Bradley's success has been evident and God has woven quite a track record for results. All this because he has listened to God through his work.

Right now I'm trying to do the same. I'm hearing that I don't do all that well when I'm past the 10 hour mark in any given day. I heard recently that variety keeps me fresh and so I adjusted my schedule, cancelled a meeting and mixed things up. I could go on and on.

The point is that, as Merton once said,

"God is present in all of the silences of the world."

Many of these happen at work, while we are commuting or while we are in front of a computer screen. The art of listening to your work is really important today. In fact, I think it's vital to changing our workplaces and helping God transform ourselves.  

Think of that friend who complains about his job. Or that relative who can't see that her position is actually pretty decent but all she does is pour over the classifieds, looking for something "better".  Sometimes we need  a bit of context to show us how great our positions really are.  Conversely, we may also use listening to show us that it's time to leave work and find something new, something that gives us life.

What is God saying through your daily schedule? What is He not saying through it?

Listen to your work. It will show you what "lights you up" as Michael Bungay Stanier likes to say. And, most importantly, it just might show you where God wants you to spend the next five minutes of your day.

Listen to your work.

Photo courtesy of Phaitoon

How to Use a Podium for Better Public Speaking

In the school world, spring is a time for a whole lot of award dinners and banquets.  One friend I know calls them "lemon chicken opportunities", although not exactly in a fond manner.

I'll be attending several of these dinners within the next week and thought I would share some ideas about the use of podiums for those that will be emcees or even guest speakers.  

While public speaking may be unpleasant for some, every leader worth his salt learns that, eventually, he must master the art of public speaking.

“Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening.” - Dorothy Sarnoff

These points are nothing more than advanced common sense but they can make a real difference in one's ability to maximize their potential as a public speaker:

1. Don't keep your hands behind your back.  This only brings more attention to your nervousness.  It's perfectly fine to place your hands on the podium or have one hand in your front pocket (but not both).
2. Don't hunch over the podium.  This just looks weird- come on admit it!
3. Be sure to appropriately use the microphone.  You don't want to be too close or too far and it may be acceptable to ask those in the back of the room if they can hear you sufficiently.
4. Move your hands.  While the podium is a good tool for grounding the speaker, don't let it be a tether. Move your hands and exagerate your gestures as you will be tighter than normal.
5. Maintain eye contact and spread it around the room.  Grab the positive energy that comes from eye contact and spread that connection throughout the room.  
6. Be gracious.  When you finish with your speech, smile and be gracious.  You're not in a rush to get off the dais- take your time.

Oh and one more thing- don't trip as you head back to your seat!

How to be an Honest Leader

If you've seen George Clooney in The Ides of March, you probably didn't feel overly happy after the movie was done.  A sitting governor has secrets to bear while running for President while his staff fights over who can keep his secrets best.  Lives are ruined and political ambitions are dashed.  In the end, no one wins when dishonesty is present.

At the heart of every leader is the need to be honest.

• Honest with himself in terms of his own gifts, preferences and abilities.


• Honest with those around him.


• Honest with his expectations and hopes for the future.


• Honest with his actions, especially when it requires an apology.

This hit home to me recently as I witnessed two conflicts at work.  In each case, the leader was facing resistance.   He didn't do anything wrong but because of a perception of dishonesty, the community put up a fight.That's the thing about honesty- if people don't feel that you're a truth-teller, you're in trouble.

Now, to be fair, I realize that some people see what they want to see and aren't fair no matter how you slice it.  In this case, let's focus on the reasonable people who still don't trust the person in leadership.

So what to do if you want to maintain an honest reservoir of leadership or if you're having problems with people questioning your own honesty?  Here are four suggestions:

Overcommunicate. If people don't think that you have a handle on data or issues, you'll want to spend more energy going over your notes, following up meetings and writing as clearly as possible.  Each email you send is an opportunity to deposit something into the "bank account" that you have with each team member.

Be more precise that ever. This applies to your voicemails, your conversation and the promises that you make.  Remember: under promise and over-deliver.   Avoid generalities like, "we should look into that" or "I'm not sure".  If you commit to something, write it down.

Build up key relationships. If people think that you're dishonest, it's probably because there is a perception of broken promises.  When you can, connect with key people in order to build a stronger bridge into the organization.  Emails, phone calls and personal notes are all important for relationship-building.  Do enough of this honestly and the next meeting you find yourself in will go smoother as a result.

Remember that actions speak louder than words. In the end, behavior matters more than words. If it's true that you can't "put lipstick on a pig", then points 1-3 will be meaningless unless your actions are truthful.  Take a look in the mirror and ask God to continually refine and improve the person that you are.

This is the hard, inside work of a leader. It really is an inner journey.

I'm not preaching to the air on this one.  I can remember a situation at a previous school when I was accused by a parent of being unfair.  This forced me to look in the mirror and evaluate if my actions were in sync with the messages I was sending.  Even though the parent did not ever apologize, I felt confident that my actions were honest and appropriate.  It hurt to be attacked but the experience made me a better person.

At the end of the day, honesty forms the very foundation of leadership.  Embrace it immediately for it forms the groundwork through which God can do amazing things.