Podcast 25: 6 Ways to Bring Gratitude Into Your Life

In this Thanksgiving edition of The Daily Saint podcast, we discuss 6 ways to bring gratitude into your life.  Each of us knows what it feels like to be grateful but how do you make it a regular practice?  

Shownotes include:

• ShrinkingTheCamel.com and author Jim Wood.  Jim's new e-Book, At Work as it is in Heaven, can be found here.
• LifeOfASteward.com.  Loren Pinilis has an excellent take on time management and his new podcast is great.
• Michael Hyatt's post, The 7 Benefits of Keeping a Daily Journal 
• My post on life, post-Hurricane Sandy, What I Learned From a Week Without Power
• Seth Godin's book, Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?

 Photo courtesy of SG

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How to Stay Calm in the Face of Stress

When was the last time that you flew off the handle?  Do you remember the cause of it or how it was resolved after the dust had settled?

Often, stress builds up under the surface and then, when you least expect it, rears its ugly head.  A good definition of stress is, "Pressure or tension exerted on a material object".  If the material object is you, this post will apply all the more.  

 I once had a co-worker in the office who found me at the wrong time after what had been a difficult week.  After we exchanged words, we went our separate ways.  

To this day, I have no idea what we argued about.  

Stress is like that.  It blurs your thinking so that you are more likely to react instead of respond appropriately.  Recently in the world of race car driving, a driver deliberately wrecked a competitor's car.  When he was subsequently fined $100,000 and penalized by NASCAR, he defended his actions, "I guess I had to do what I had to do."  

Doesn't exactly sound like remorse does it?

Instead of going off on someone, how can you remain calm when you would otherwise provide a knee-jerk reaction?  Here are some practical suggestions:

1. Slow the game down.  Step away from the situation.  Turn off the computer, go for a walk, breathe.  What you don't want to do is say something that you will regret so it's vital to give yourself some physical distance from the situation at hand.  Turn your attention to someone or something totally unrelated to your stress.  
2. Practice the 24 hour rule.  That is to say, do not respond within the first 24 hours.  There might be an exception to this such as an emergency scenario or when someone is in danger.  Otherwise, do your best to not respond within the first 24 hours.  This will take discipline and courage.
3. Seek advice.  Ask 2-3 people that you trust what they would do in your shoes.  
4. Watch your email.  Many email errors take place because someone was in a rush.  Guess what?  Email lives for a long time.  (for a refresher on email etiquette, read Laura Stack's excellent piece on the proper use of email).
5. Speak with the person directly.  Whomever it is that rubbed you the wrong way, approach her/him calmly and directly.  Do not raise your voice but speak in a professional tone about what bothered you previously.  If you're going to push the stress out of your body, let it begin with the words that come from your mouth.  Don't approach the person in a hallway or public place but give your conversation the right context in which to take place.  An office or meeting room make the most sense.
6. Pray over the situation.  No matter how bad the situation may seem, God has seen far worse and can handle whatever mess you are in.  Pray for yourself and for the person(s) causing you stress.  I have found that this works 100% of the time.

Believe it or not, stess both causes and creates humility.  It takes humility to present your stress to God.  It takes even more humility to approach someone who causes you stress.  It builds up humility inside of you when you admit weakness and vulnerability.  

The words of St. Peter still ring true, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7)

Question: which technique do you use to stay calm when faced with stress?

Photo courtesy of EG.

What I Learned From a Week Without Power

I write this post hesitantly.  There’s this little voice that feels guilty even reflecting on “blessings” when so many of my closest friends are still without power, heat and running water. 

Hurricane Sandy came and went but left her mark, that she did.

There is also a sense of quick relief, maybe too quick, because our “normal lifestyle” has been restored and is now almost like it was prior to the hurricane.  Our minds are so well trained to seek pleasure that I can feel the pain of last week drifting away.  I want to put it out of my mind and download some dumb computer game while turning on all of the lights in my house and streaming live video on my iPad.

But I also don’t want to forget.  Not at all.

I don’t want to forget last week.  I don’t want to because a part of me feels guilty because of what has been restored to my own family.  Lights.  Heat.  Hot water.  Internet.  More importantly, I don’t want to forget because, for one small stretch of life, I could relate to the poor.  We were poor in heat, lights, food, comfort, and leisure.

It didn't feel good.

On the other hand, we were rich at the same exact time.  We were wealthy in how much more we spoke with our neighbors. We were rich in how we tried to encourage each other when one of us felt like complaining.  We were rich in the time that it took to prepare meals.  With the microwave out of commission, simple meals of bread and soup came alive thanks to the help of a side burner on the bbq grille.  

For five long days, we were rich while at the same time being poor.

I kept a candle lit tonight after dinner.  My eight year old reminded me that our power was back and we didn’t need the candles any more.  I told him that I didn’t want to forget last week.  Innocently and honestly, he said, “I don’t want to remember last week at all!  It was horrible.”  He is, of course, very right.  One would never choose to be out of power for a week.  Why would you?

Suffering is like that.  It repels and attracts at the same time. We walk by homeless people and simultaneously want to stare and look away.  Can you relate to that?  For many thousands of people in New York, Connecticut and New Jersey after the hurricane, the response is the same.  Some just want to move on and forget that it all happened, like my eight year old.  Others will have to live with the devastation for months or years to come.  

So what did I learn from a week without power?  First, what I missed the most:

1. The ability to communicate with my friends and colleagues.

2. Hot coffee at any time of the day.

3. High speed internet.

4. Heat and afternoon lighting.

5. The ability to charge my devices.

6. Podcast listening during my commute.

What didn’t I miss?  (And some of these may surprise you!)

1. Refrigeration.

2. TV.

3. All Saints Day.  It’s not that I don’t like All Saints Day, I do.  It’s rather that I was so consumed with getting my family through the day that we had forgotten all about All Saints.  

What have I learned through all of this?  

1. Take nothing for granted.  Not your family or a good night’s sleep or a warm meal.  It could all go away in the blink of an eye so cherish it, hold it close to you and thank God for whatever you have.

2. Help those that you can.  I can’t cook my way out of a paper bag but I can brew coffee.  Today I made a pot of coffee for someone without power and poured it into a carafe.  When I gave it to my friend, she could only give back a hug which was way better than what I had to offer.

3. Put more stock into routines.  They bring momentum which brings success.  During a time of disaster, they also bring order, calm and a sense of stability. Get really good at them because they matter a whole lot. 

4. Try not to forget.  Whether you light a candle, frame a photo or keep a quote in your wallet or purse, remembering tragedy is very, very important.  It keeps you humble and helps to avoid careless waste.

I’d love to hear your insights from last week’s Hurricane event.  How are you doing and what are you learning?

Photo courtesy of AB

Match Your Activity with Your Energy

It's 8:22pm in the St. Pierre household and you have one child to be put to bed in 8 minutes.  The other three are going to be sleeping (right?) by 9pm.  

This is pretty typical in my family and I'm wondering about yours.  The issue is simple enough- what do you do when you have small bits of time to spend?  Do you waste them or make the most of them?

The temptation is to say, "the heck with it" or "Mike, you're micromanaging the clock!"  All I know is that God gives us time in order to use it.  I figure we ought to use it well.

So back to the scenario at hand.  In my house, we typically try to match the activity with the level of energy.  Have ten minutes before bed?  Choose a low-level activity that doesn't require much brain power.  This could be tidying up a room or folding a pile of clothes.

On the other hand, if you're given a 30-45 minute block of time, you may want to settle in for a deeper level of activity.  This is a gift to use more wisely.  You could do some writing, have a meaningful conversation or clean out your inbox.  

Whatever your block of time, try to see it as a gift.  

Which tasks do you typically reserve for small blocks of time?  Likewise, which ones do you tackle when you have a lot of energy?

Photo courtesy of CK

10 Ways to Get Unstuck

I ran into someone the other day at a meeting and asked him how he was doing.  He responded in what I thought was a sad manner, "Same old, same old.  Just plugging along I guess."

Imagine going through your life with that "same old" mindset and yet that's what so many people do.

At the heart of this rather depressing outlook on life (and work) is a perspective of scarcity.  Rather than having an attitude of abundance and gratitude, my friend sees his days as a repeatingly boring cycle that repeats itself every day.  I feel badly for him, I really do.

Can you relate?  If so, how do you break up a cycle of monotony like that of my friend?  Here are 10 easy ways to put some zing into your weekly schedule:

1. Change your commute.
2. Change your morning routine.
3. Eat slower.
4. Send someone a personal note.
5. Pay someone a compliment.
6. Take a nap.
7. Enjoy a slow glass of wine.
8. Go for a nighttime walk.
9. Tidy up your workspace.
10. Wear something fun.

These suggestions do not work every time but they do help you to be more reflective.  Reflective people typically are more happy.  When you feel stuck in your daily schedule, a simple tweak can create a dent in the monotony that is a part of all of our lives.

God is there to be found in the world of work.

I really like the following quote from former president of Boston College, Fr. William Byron, S.J. because it speaks to the ordinary nature of daily life, "God is there to be found in the world of work. The daily finding of God in the things of work can deepen one’s faith and quite literally ground it in the familiar reality that becomes an altar from which an offering of praise and thanks is made."

Here's to your daily altar to God, that is to say the ordinary stuff that fills your day.  May you be unstuck through small changes.

Question: which of the 10 actions above have you tried recently?

Photo courtesy of FDP