Getting Back to "Normal" After Tragedy Strikes

Here in NJ, our world has been turned upside down by several tragic events.  In the Gulf area, residents are feeling the same way only due to the oil spill and its countless side effects.  It's very normal to be shaken up, disoriented and even depressed.  The key is to press through that stage into some form of normal.

This journey, however is not an easy one.  It is deeply spiritual as it will test the very depths of a person's character and will invite them to call on God for help.  Here are some suggestions for getting back to normal:

1. Surround yourself with support. By phone, in person or online, seek those who will love you and support you in your grief.  Even if your grief feels small, it's important to talk it through with someone who has "been there and done that".  Facebook, with all of its shortcomings, is very effective for this as a Fan Page or Group can spring up in hours with literally thousands of supporters.


2. Maintain good eating, sleeping and grooming habits. Rather than turn to alcohol or other stimulants, maintaining good eating habits and getting enough sleep are both critical to this process.  Give yourself permission to rest, taking care of yourself and keeping your living space in good working condition.


3. Go to places of order. Psychologists tell us that supermarkets and department stores are effective places for those seeking order.  Have you ever noticed that you don't even think when you go to the market?  That's because you know where everything is and in a time of tragedy, these places are of value.  Whether you need some items or not, markets are helpful places in times of tragedy.


4. Allow yourself to "resume" life. Many times we don't want to resume normalcy during or after a time of tragedy.  We feel as if we should still be sad or be in desperation.  Give yourself permission to get back to work, do the things you did before tragedy struck and resume normalcy.


5. Prepare for the unexpected. Know that a moment will come, when you don't expect it, that will shake you up and remind you of tragedy and loss.  This is where prayer comes in so that you can anticipate painful reminders of loss that will occur in the future.  Colossians 1:24 says, "Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church."

Jesus knows what tragedy is all about and is at the side of all suffering throughout the world.  Calling on Him in prayer is key when you are trying to resume normalcy so that life can go on.

*photo by skpy

Extroverts and Prayer

A priest friend of mine once told me that extroverts are better hard-wired to pray with icons.  I can't really dispute this and there are very few books that specifically deal with extroversion and prayer.  The point is that an extrovert understands prayer differently from an introvert.

While the introvert (see my previous post) finds prayer comfortable and necessary, the extrovert may have to work a little harder to cultivate daily moments of prayer.  A friend of mine who is highly extroverted finds sit-down prayer difficult so he converts simple daily rituals into prayer.  Instead of listening to the radio on his way to work, he prays in his car.  Another friend takes a daily run and uses that for prayer. Some find knitting prayerful while others find serving in a soup kitchen to be helpful.

Which daily activity can you convert into a moment of prayer?

*photo by lululemon

Introverts and Prayer

One of the best "blog finds" of the past year has been The Introverted Leader Blog.  This is helpful for those of us who are introverts but also for those who manage anyone- you're going to find an introvert around just about every corner.  Learning to work with them is essential.  They are wired differently than extroverts.

For introverts, prayer is especially important for this reason- they rely on a careful balance between action and then solitude.  Action and solitude.  Action and solitude.  It's a cycle that strong introverts are committed to restore on a consistent basis.

Look around- who is practicing this balance better than others?  What can you learn from them?

The Challenge of Contemporary Leaders

"The challenge of contemporary leaders is to honor both the need for solitude and engagement."  Delores Leckey

The degree to which a leader maintains wellness is often what separates him/her from those who burn out.  One of my spiritual heroes, Fr. Thomas Judge, a Vincentian priest from Boston who died in 1933 literally passed away from overwork.  It's something that has always bothered me about him.  Sadly, he's not alone when it comes to those who lack balance in their lives.

What can you do today to nurture both quiet and noise?  How can you maintain a level of solitude- can you go for a walk, put on some headphones or close the door?  Just as importantly, how can your engagement with others be just as satisfying?

At the end of the day, the age-old Benedictine mantra of pray and work is just as relevant as ever.

*photo by anoldent

Take Your Meditation With You

How do you perform at a high level at work and still maintian an authentic spiritual life?  I wrote last week about using my iPhone to do just that.  I really like the Momento app which allows me to capture what the spiritual tradition calls "the daily Word".

While culture spends billions each year to convince you to believe that each day is impossible to navigate with God as your copilot, the Christian tradition says otherwise.  Just ask the monks of any Benedictine abbey who live by the mantra "ora et labora" or pray and work.

Some tips for keeping a Word in your heart throughout the day include:

• Start the day on the right foot. If you can spend some quiet time each morning focusing on the day ahead and your relationship with God, all the better.  Even if you're an evening person, try to carve out some morning time to be alone.


• Capture the Word in paper or digital format. Here's where I combine old school (my journal) and new school (Momento for iPhone) to "write down" the idea or phrase that I feel God is passing along to me each morning.


• Revisit the Word later in the day. This is simple but often overlooked.  A good day will be one in which you can remember the Word that you received earlier in the day.  Keep a journal or digital version with you so that you can revisit your morning message.


• Make a weekly review (each week). As David Allen says, the weekly review just might be the glue that keeps productivity rolling.  When you can look back on your week and see the collection of daily Words adding up, real progress becomes evident.  God's work is more easily seen when you are keeping track of it.

My sense is that your week will be more productive and more spiritual as a result of a daily Word.  Whether it's a phrase that sticks with you or a Bible passage that stands out- remember that "God is there to be found in the world of work" (Fr. William Byron, S.J.).

Here's to a holy week.

*photo by yourdon